2023 Creative Projects and The Heart of Nature Edits

The joys of having spent thirteen years writing stories and slowly developing my writing skill is the constant catch up and backlog of stories. There are soooo many stories I want to get my poorly circulated typing fingers on but in the words of my wise and wonderful mother, "one thing at a time, Steven." 

I still have not learned such wisdom, but at least in this situation it's just one writing project at a time. Never mind that I'm also doing one full DND campaign and one mini campaign, a writing group, a board game night twice a week, and twice a month at the weekends, and trying to be the best friend I can be. Writing this I ponder what's wrong with me. My health stuff is so savage and yet I proceed to walk the cliff edge like some adrenaline junky, knowing if I lose my footing everything must go on hold for weeks, if not months. I don't seem to be able to fully stop and rest until one foot is over the edge and I'm about to fall, or actually falling.

But, oh well, these are the choices we make. Like the choice to delete the two hundred word rant/tangent I wrote that had nothing to do with writing, books or creative endeavours. Time to focus a bit.

I have attempted a couple of creative projects since my last update, aka editing my story Empiphany, submission of a novella, and selling hoodies with my doodles on.

Empiphany edits didn't go so well. The story needs to have the structure demolished and rebuilt from the foundations up. I look forward to doing this because there are a lot of exciting ideas and I will be able to do that story and characters justice. It's tough having written such stories over a decade ago and having to admit destruction is often part of the creation process. It will be a year or two yet, but I look forward to returning to Empiphany.    

My novella was super close to being published, but I was told it needed a little more editing than the five that were chosen. Missing out is tough, but the publisher and one of the editors said they would happily go over it in the future and get the story edited. That was lovely and sweet.

The hoodie project was so cool. However, some of the product quality ended up being below the standard I wanted, which was so upsetting. I have put this project on hold for now but will resurrected it at some point. Thank you to those who supported by donating money and buying a hoodie.

So, yeah, lots of 'failure' but all part of the process. I never see them as failure, but experiences to grow from and improve. The only hard part is knowing I've let people down at times with quality of product. It weighs heavy on me. I hope to continue to improve so the quality is to a high standard. 

And here I am in 2023, working on the current project. The Heart of Nature is being edited for hopefully its finally time. It is going super well. My editors have both been incredible. To have such talented writers/editors onboard with my projects is humbling. The editor I'm currently working with has got us to chapter four of thirty super quickly, and the flavour of the story has already become so much more tasty. I have always struggled with world building, but my editor is highlighting places I can add little things and I'm loving it. And to have chapter four end with my editor saying, "Really good chapter. Not much needed at all" was one of the best moments of my life. A slight hyperbole but not too far of the truth. I know I'm still not an amazing writer but I know my stories are fascinating and intriguing. They deserve to be told and I want to be worthy of them. To know my writing is at least improving is a relief. Sure there will be chapters ahead that are the opposite of chapter four and need ripping to pieces, but it's nice to know I'm becoming worthy. 

The next few months of editing will be lots of fun, but also no doubt exhausting. But I feel the end is in sight. To have The Heart of Nature as a finished story and physical book is going to have me sobbing with joy. 

2022 Part 2

2022 has been a busy year so far. I am still running the four nights a week social events like board games and dungeons and dragons. I’ve tried to take a bit of a step back from the Monday and Tuesday nights because I was doing too much. That said, in true me style I’ve started a Saturday board games day at Waterstones Café once every 5/6 weeks and most recently a writers group every Friday. Both are going well and fun to be a part of.

In writing news, I need to get better at marketing the Book of Prophecy. I have a few ideas to help for such, but need to put them into practice. The cover for The Heart of Nature has been revealed which was a good step forward. I’m currently waiting to see how the edit is going, and hear back about the read through of a standalone book. I have also submitted a novella for publication, so we’ll see if that is accepted for such.

2022 Update

It’s been nearly a year since my last post. The year has had many ups and downs, as I’m sure it has for most. One highlight was getting the board games night running again here in Gloucester. We now do four nights a week. It has been incredible to see people come together and make friends. The isolation of the lockdowns has been tough on many, and I think people realise even more how important it is to have connections with good people.

Book stuff is going well. The Book of Prophecy has had the new cover done and is able to be purchased. I’m excited to get promoting again. This year’s goal is to get The Heart of Nature released and maybe one other book. I’ve also been recording my stories on youtube so that option is there for people to listen to.

I’ve also got projects underway for artwork and looking forward to seeing how those go. I will try to keep this blog updated on what happens.

If you want to look at various ongoing projects this is my website- http://www.stevenjguscott.com/

Valentines Day Poem

I can't believe I haven't posted anything since October.

I've been writing bits of poetry, editing various projects, and doing some map making for Dungeons and Dragons. I'm still having lots of fun with my projects and making progress a little bit at a time.

Here's a random poem I wrote for Valentines Day:

Love is the peak of our species progress,

Yet, we pollute what's pure with toxic selfishness.

More often than not it's not intentional,

Something in our DNA just makes us irrational.

The power to purify our very nature,

Takes more than a clichéd superficial gesture.

Each day is the way we fight for bliss,

Kind words, a smile, a gentle kiss.

Joy In The Success Of Others

One of my best friends, Sammy HK Smith, has had their book picked up and is coming out next year!! The cover reveal for, Anna, was last week and it looks so good!!! 

Click the link to see more :)

https://rebellionpublishing.com/cover-reveal-and-excerpt-anna-by-sammy-h-k-smith/?fbclid=IwAR3MplZ65qaxp4Wv1GWoPnKPSvc46hwogp5kzt1IuCVIMS4AIStVeimHN6w

DREAMS

Still one of my favourite little writing pieces.

Freedom: “What are you doing?”

Vicarious: “Dreaming?”

Freedom: “Well stop! You know that’s wrong!”

Vicarious: “I know I’ve been told it’s wrong. I don’t know that it is.”

F: “But Father and Mother say your dreams are wrong. That you shouldn’t see what you see in your dreams.”

V: “Mother and Father are scared of what they do not understand. What I see gives me experience. It teaches me infinity. I learn and live through others because of my dreams.”

F: “Don’t you worry what they would all think if they knew you could see them in your dreams?”

V: “Don’t be so narrow-minded. This is a gift given to me. I shouldn’t deny it because of some notion of privacy. Besides, they don’t know I can see them. It’s not like I can hurt them. All I do is watch.”

F: “Yes. All you do is watch. What about your life? There are chores to be done, people to meet, friends to be made, dreams to be lived.”

V: “Those dreams aren’t real to me. What I dream is real. When I dream, I dream of billions of chores, billions of people meeting, billions of friends being made, and billions of dreams being lived. Nothing can compare to that. No one dream outweighs the dreams of billions.”

F: “You’re wrong, you know?”

V: “Oh really? Enlighten me, oh experienced one.”

F: “My dreams... My dreams, are more important than a billion-billion other dreams.”

V: “And why is that?”

F: “Because they are my dreams. I shape them with each choice and act I make. I do not know how they will be fulfilled, but I try, and I struggle, and I bleed for them. I do not do it to simply learn, or for others to simply watch. I do it for you, for Father and Mother, for those I love.”

V: “But that is so limited. When I close my eyes and dream, I look though their eyes; through the eyes they put on their streets; and the ones in their markets; and those on their flying machines; and some in unimaginable places in the spaces between where they all live. I see it all. And by seeing, I am everything.”    

F: “You’re frightening me.”

V: “Frightening you? You should marvel at my dreams. You should beg to hear them and learn through me of what is out there in what we call the unknown. I have seen horrors and joys, and pleasures and pains, all of which you and your dreams could never fathom or conjure.”

F: “And what good does it do you?”

V: “It makes me a god of knowledge and wisdom.”

F: “It makes you nothing. You stare at a mirror and you have no reflection. It is all to feed your wish to be important.”

V: “I am important! Do you not wish to be important?”

F: “Not like you do. I want to be smiled at and hugged to prove to me that I am important, and most of all I want to look in the mirror and see my reflection. I want to see myself smile with the knowledge I live my dreams. Without that evidence how can you know of your own importance?”

V: “I know. You refuse to understand. You can’t see what I see. You’ll never understand.”

F: “I know I cannot see what you see, but you could come and see what I see. Then you would understand me. All you have to do is try.”

V: “Why would I want to waste time and effort on that when I can watch all people try. I can watch them fail and I can watch them succeed. All from the comfort of my dreams.”

F: “I don’t think it will be enough for you.”

V: “What do you mean?”

F: “Eventually you will get bored and you will want to try. But you won’t try to see through your own eyes and live your own dreams, for you will have none. You will try to live theirs. They will not want you trying to live their dreams. When you finally show yourself they will be able see you’ve been watching, and they will hate you. They will not give you their dreams. They will hate you for not earning the right. It is their right to give their dreams freely.”

V: “...hmm...maybe so. But I will know all. I will know what to say and what to do so they do not suspect who I am. They will not see me, for they will only see their own reflection.”

F: “You underestimate them. They will know. And when they do they will take back their dreams and you will have none. And then you will be nothing because you have no dreams of your own.”

V: “I will dream again. It is of no consequence.”

F: “You won’t dream again. You can never go back after that. Not once they’ve seen you and know you’ve been in their dreams. They will know how to shut you out. It will be over for you and you’ll be lost forever.”

Vicarious: “You are jealous and trying to spoil my gift. Leave me alone to my dreams.”

Freedom: “Don’t you mean their dreams.”

Vicarious: “Yes, their dreams, but they are my dreams too, don’t forget that.”

Freedom: “I’m sorry you’ve chosen this way. I truly hope you learn. Maybe if you put things right they will forgive you. But I think not. I do not think we will see each other again. Well, maybe in our dreams. Goodbye, Big Brother.”

From My Heart

Something I wrote on Facebook a few weeks ago. This year has been so intense I felt I had to let out some feelings and thoughts. 

In these times of ever increasing extremes it's so hard to know what to write, or say, and most importantly, do.

The world and its events are so massive. The number of different beliefs so vast. Hate and Love on a global scale are growing stronger and stronger as they feast upon the need to fight harder and harder to beat the other.

What can I do in such a world? My tiny garden of influence, beliefs and perspectives is comparable to nothing. How do I know what way is best to plough, sow, water, weed, harvest, consume and share?

Honestly, I don't have an answer.

I am void of knowing what I can do. So much love that rages inside. Rages and burns for those fighting for the same want of love. Its so intense and purifying that it almost consumes me. Such grief for the suffering of fellow beings. I know I must hold on. And so I go on. Balancing, processing, trying, loving, caring in small ways, until I can do more. Deep down controlling emotions that feel like they could rip apart the whole universe, and if not that, then certainly my small garden.

I want to hold those in grief and suffering to show them they are loved. That their pain is noticed. That each person is significant and matters more than they could ever know. That so many tears are spilled for them. That so many small gardens are watered in this way by millions of people because of love. That despite the hate, selfishness, poverty, injustice, sickness, loneliness and fear, there are those who would take it all away if they could. People who are doing what they can to make a change. Those trying to keep hope and love alive through word and action.

I want to do more. I want to be by your side when kneeling and fighting for love. But if all I can do is sign petitions, vote with love for reform, raise my voice when needed, tell people how much I love them, be there for them, share what little I can, and love with all my heart, then hopefully it will be enough, even though I want to do so much more.

You may never know it. But I love you.