Saturday, 12 March 2011

Gratitude to all who help me fight the solitude

As I have written my blog updates I have noticed that they have become quite personal. I never really had an idea of what I wanted this blog to be, obviously it was meant to be about writing, but part of me wanted to keep it away from personal things. I realise now that I was very naïve because writing is personal, no matter what form, it will have some personal aspect to it. It was inevitable that I would be as honest as I could about everything that has happened with this project and I am glad it has evolved this way.

I have also noticed that I am writing as if I am some kind of motivational speaker. I am not. I just want you to see what I have learned from my experiences and hope that something I say may inspire, educate, entertain or interest you or someone else. Maybe it is arrogant of me to think that but I know that one person can make a huge difference in the life of someone else, so why not me with my cheesy smile, good heart and desire for everyone to be happy.

How do I know one person can make a huge difference in the life of another?
Because so many people have made such a difference in my life and helped me move my writing forward.

This is the point of todays update. To say thank you and acknowledge the greatness of those people I have met over the years and who have helped me with my writing.

Like everyone I have had those moments when you feel completely alone. I could expand on this but we have all have had these moments so I know you understand. The fact however is that no one is alone unless they choose to be. This world is full of amazing people and I have been fortunate enough to have met so many of them in the brief 23 years I have been alive. There have been so many people who have helped me overcome that feeling of being alone and I am about to either embarrass or boost the egos of a lot of those people. But I need to do this to let people know I am so grateful for their love, support and uniqueness. 

Before I start naming names I want to share a few of my beliefs about myself.

I used to think of myself as a mirror. This was because I felt I reflected peoples personalities. When I was with certain people I would behave a certain way depending on who I was with. Sometimes these behaviours were very different because people are very different. I used to wonder who I actually was because all I seemed to do was reflect who other people were. It always meant I could make friends no matter where I was because even though I had my core beliefs a lot of my behaviours, the ones that had little consequence, could be adapted to who ever I was with. I used to wonder if I had any backbone or integrity because I changed so easily and I wondered which part of all those behaviours was me. I now know they all are part of me and I guess I’m more like a sponge.

Recently I have been thinking about this more because of my writing. When I write my stories the characters can be very similar to parts of my personality, or be very different, or remind me of a friend. I then realised I can write characters that are so varied in personality because I have absorbed the personality traits of those I have spent time with over the course of my life. Hence all the behaviours are part of me.

I now realise that I am more like a sponge or even like a plant taking in sunlight. I like the plant simile because people do give of a kind of light, some brighter than others, and I have taken those parts of their light and used it to give me knowledge about people and behaviours. I can use the things they have learned, or ways they tackle the troubles of life for myself, or for characters of a story if I wish. This knowledge has been paramount for my writing and for the way I view life as a whole.
I guess I am grateful for this ability because it has allowed me to do what I have done with my writing and has helped me learn so much from the people around me.

So here we go. Time to start naming and shaming. I have decided to write every name from my facebook page and also as many as I can remember from my life. I’m not sure why I want to do this, but it will be good to see that list written down.
(I would recommend doing the same thing if you ever have false thoughts of being alone, because having now compiled the list my eyes have been opened to how many people I actually know and how long it takes to write them all down).

After this list I will thank those who have helped with specific aspects of my writing, but please know each person I have ever met has had an impact on my writing. You are all apart of this journey by the fact I have met you, learned from you, and in lesser or greater ways loved you.

(There are a lot of names here and so feel free to skip to the more interesting stuff).

Fred Smith, Bruce Rodgers, Eoina Rodgers, George Stewart and family, Garrett Prather, Neil and Julie Beveridge, My American Mommy Lesli Askew and family, Lisa Dendy, Ryan Wark and family, Jenifer Proctor, Cheryl White and family, Hannah Neil, Richard Wills, Emma Somers, Linda Clark, Diane Quell, Sarah Mauro, Kathleen McGeoghan, Angela Crawley, Cat Tippett, Sean Clayton, Jenny Mattisson, Siobhan Higgins, Ruth Bowler, Adam Preece, Abi Carey and family, Jill Kennedy, Alan Duncan, David Clark and family, Matthew Sneddon and family, Stephen Batchen, Tom Granger and family, Neil Campbell, Alison Dibble, Allan Freed and family, Andrew Duke, Iain Banks and family, Andrew Pollard, Andy Mcdonald, Angela Bews, Anna Manajeva, Callum Mcneish and family, Arlene Fraser and family, Stephen Kerr and family, Benjamin Esiana, David Cleland and family, Tom McKenna and family, Colin Partington and family, Bryan Quinn and family, Calder Niven, Calum Gibson, Caroline Sansome and family, Catherine Murray, Teachers from school, Adam Brown, John and Mary Mckenzie and family, Phil and Karen Reid and family, Norman and Esther Brown and family, Penny and Andrew Casey and Family, Andrew and Maureen McCormack and family, Thomas Irvine and family, James Liddle, Catriona Wood, Claire Cristie, Conor Kay, Emma Currie and family, Conor Muirhead, Corey Milne, Danielle Kelly, Bill Easton, Daryl Golding and family, Dave Goss, David Swanson, Derick Willis, Devin Goodwin, Dominika Powwojska, Donovan Oliver, Elaine Morrison, Sammy, Sadie and Joy Mitchell, Eammon Brereton and family, Emma Couper, Fernando Quintiliani, Carlo Pazzani and family, Fraser Kirk, Garrett Smith, Gary Paton, Gillian Carins, Graeme Butchart, Graham MacDougall and Anne MacDougall, Gigja Bjornsson, Hayley Nettleton, Heather Peterson, Ian Buzzard, Jacob Longstaff, Ian and Janet Miller and Family, Jake Mulford, Jamie Thompson, Jared Linekar, Jennifer Manson, Jo Peek, Johanna Stalker, Jonathan Shenton, Anne Perry, John Walker and family, Julia McMurray, Justin Whitehead, Kerry Blyth, Kirsty Fowler, Kylie Beveridge and family, Laura Scott, Lewis Gunn, Linda Mitchell and family, Lori McCann, Chris Brown, Chris Boyd, Louise Edgar, Hilary Bowler, Louise Heatley, Luke Scrivens, Lyle Borders, Mark Blennerhassett, Mark Walker, Elisabeth Dybdhal, Martin Black and family, MJ, Maureen Mcintyre, Mauro D’Ottavio, Megan Calderwood, Nate Ross, Nikki Goffin, Nyree Bell, Philip Reilly, Rachel Wakeford, Red O’Flanagan, Rhiannon Page, Samantha Drummond, Michael Seddon, Reece Throop, Richard McConkie, Rob Senior, Mhairi Archibald, Rob Roy and Family, James Melvine, Roddy Kirk, Roisin Cowans, Ron Peacock, Rory Macleod, Ross Thompson, Samantha and Campbell Brander, Jacqueline Fisher, Sarah MacLennan, Graeme Mcdonald, Graeme McDougall, Graeme Robb, Ewan Bell, Steve Pryor and family, Simon Beveridge, Stacie Allan, Jill Wylie, Joanne Kennedy, Jason North and Family, Steven Warby, Murdoch Family, Trevor Chadwick, Veronica Mcgowan, Vicki Mckay, Will Grant, Will Whitehead, Zena Ambrose and family.
People who I can only remember the first name. (sorry)
Gregory, Adonas, Ryan, Batica, Lyndsey, John, Dany, Moose, Colin, Declan, Jason, Alex, Wes, Ewan, Alban, Stephen, Graeham, Roslyn, Catherine, Judith, Stephanie, Nima, Jenna, Jenny, Debbie, Matt, Diane, Andy, Neil, there are more but I am losing patience lol.

The Guscott Family, Moxey Family, Weir Family, Webb Family and Pratt Family.

As a result of doing this I may have missed names and if so I’m sorry. Therefore thanks to all those who I have shared good times with from Schools, Summer Camp, Church activities etc. I am sorry I can’t remember your names due of the limitations of my memory. The memories and faces are there and maybe the first name, but not the full name. Sorry.

Individual thanks to the following

Fred Smith.
You have been such an amazing friend. You have kept me level headed when times were hard. You have been a rock and very few people have any idea of just how great you are. Also you have supplied the Ben and Jerrys ice cream (the only reason I’m your friend) so thank you.
Also thank you for the front cover of my book. You have no idea how amazing it is to see the vision of what I wanted my cover to look like come to life because of your skills. I owe you so much for this and hopefully will be able to repay you for this in the future.

Bruce Rodgers
You too have been an amazing friend. We have had such fun times over the years and your belief in me and willingness to help me with my dream is touching. Your ideas have been so helpful. Thank you for buying the first two printed hard copies of my book. I don’t know what the future holds but I have a feeling you will have a big part in helping me be successful I guess only time will tell. I also hope to be able to repay you.

Eoina Rodgers, Garrett Prather and George Stewart
You were the first three people to finish my book and give me a detailed amount of feedback. Thank you for believing in me and taking the time to read it. In a way you three have become my proof readers. I cannot wait to finish the second book and send it to you.
Eoina. Thank you for being the first person to buy a hard copy from the internet and for all your kind words of encouragement that have brought tears to my eyes.
George. Thank you for your wisdom, advice and faith in me.
Garrett. Thank you for your support, detailed feedback and objectivity.

Cheryl White
Thank you for encouraging me to write this blog. Thank you for supporting me and helping me move my dreams forward by using some of your contacts to help me. Thank you for the chats and laughs. Thank you for your own motivated personality. It is great to see someone who is such a fighter in the face of so much responsibility.
Thank you for always being right lol. 

Thank you to everyone who has bought the ebook.
Thank you to those who have bought the hard copy.
The fact you are willing to invest money and time in my dream fills me with feelings of humility and gratitude far greater than written or spoken words can express.

To all my family, thank you. Thank you for your support during difficult times. Thank you for listening to me harp on and on about my book. I hope one day to repay you for your patience. Thank you for your love and support.

Thank you to all my friends over the years. I have shared such amazing experiences with so many people and I am thankful to each person both close and a far.
From those friends I had in Riseley, Northampton, Bonar Bridge, Dornach, Alness, Invergordon and surrounding areas, Stirling and surrounding areas and to all those I have met who live elsewhere in the world. I will see you all again one day. Thank you.

To those who I have lost. I value the memories we share.

There is so much I wish I could say to so many. What I have said in this update will have to suffice. I just hope you all know that my success is your success. My failures are my learning experiences and no matter what is said and done I am grateful to all of you who help me fight the solitude and who have influenced me, and therefore influenced my writing.
Thank You.
Oh and Thank You for reading my blog.

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