Thursday, 31 January 2013

3 years

3 years!!! Seriously!? 3 years!?

I've written this posts three times now and deleted them all. It's simply too hard to share what I really want to at this point. In the future I'll write what I wanted, but not today. All I will say is that these three years have been more challenging than I could have ever imagined. Chasing this dream has taken so much effort for such little payback that it's difficult not to feel very negative, especially when it's your own weaknesses that block the path. I still have hope though and when things move forward I know all the struggles will seem insignificant, but right now the trials of this journey, and the challenges of life, are overwhelming. I do wish I could have written something more positive on this three year mark, but I don't want to lie. I want it to be real and leave the fiction for my stories. The whole truth will be clarified in the future, but I will not give up on this dream. That said it might be time for a change, if only for a little while. It's something that requires more thought. The most important thing that must be mentioned is the greatness of those who have supported me and encouraged me over the three years. I will always be in your debt. Thank you.

It's always fun looking back over posts (as I just have) and I see how positive I've been at times. I'm sure i'll get that enthusiasm back at some point. Things are just tough at the moment and I've not put into practice a lot of what I've learned over the years. All will be explained when I decide to write more about why it's been difficult right now. Just need to get my patience mindset back and all will be fine.

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