This Elephant Tastes Awesome!

How do you eat an elephant? The saying goes. The answer: one bite at a time. After more than two months of doing a little bit each day, probably about a chapter every three days, Empiphany's mass edit is finished. It has been ripped apart, stuff has been taken out, stuff has been put in, and it has been stitched back together slowly. After a last attempt to get some of the punctuation right, which took more than three hours, and is still probably wrong; it was finished late on Tuesday 20/11/12.

There is a quote I wrote when the first draft of Empiphany was finished and it captures how I feel about this story:

I wanted it to be something perfect, but something felt wrong, and that's when I knew it was right. I needed something beautiful and repulsive, something accessible and closed, something unique and familiar, something disturbing and innocent, something brilliant and terrible, something intelligent and ignorant, something I both love and hated. For me Empiphnay is this and more, and that's why it's perfect to me.

It has been sent to Starbuck and she’s going to give it a read through and let me know what she thinks. Until that happens the next step in my writing adventures is unknown, there are a few options, but I think I will take a short break and go crazy with some Audiobooks.

Lastly I would like to thank Bear Wills for unknowingly being the motivation for me to complete this. You gave me the date the 24^th and I finished 4 days early :) 

The Shortest Straw-ry

 So that title is probably the worst play on words in history. I’ve chosen it because this update is about the first short (and shortest) story I’ve ever written. As I thought about a title Metallica’s ‘The Shortest Straw’ came to mind (it’s one of my favs) and as you can see I seamlessly blended it with ‘Short Story…’ Well maybe the opposite of seamlessly, but I’m keeping it because I think it’s funny. It’s a sign I probably need to get out more but I’m attempting to be a writer and that means being somewhere between a little quirky and totally ‘there came a tapping… a tapping my chamber door’ crazy. I’ll leave it to you to judge where you think I fall in that spectrum. Now that I’ve done my usual and rambled it’s time to tell you about the story behind the story.

 A few months ago my friend Starbuck (Sammy) asked me to write a short story for an anthology she was putting together. I haven't read many short stories and having never written one I thanked her for the offer but declined. The back story for the short story was Steampunk and one of the themes we could play with was Gothic Horror. I love Gothic classics like Frankenstein, Dracula, and Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, so decided to give it some more thought.

It wasn’t long before I remembered an idea I had that was related to one of those classics. It was for a branch off story, like ‘what if this had happened instead.’ It did feel a little blasphemous to touch such an amazing story, but it was an idea I liked. I was always going to play with it at some point, so why not now? I spoke to Starbuck and told her I wasn’t going to make any promises but would explore the idea and send it to her for her thoughts.

            Surprisingly the first draft was a lot of fun and I enjoyed exploring the ideas. I sent it off to Starbuck and she said she liked it, but as with all my writing it needed some work. I decided to just leave the story and not have it in the anthology as I felt I got what I wanted out of it.

A couple weeks later Starbuck motivated me to finish it. I didn’t want to let her down so decided to give it a try. I think the break had been good because when I went back to it the story came together pretty well. I sent it back to Starbuck and she said it would be good to have in the Anthology; once it had some editing. She cut the 11,000 words to 7,000 and said it was ready to put in. I was a bit deflated to think 4,000 words were taken out and part of me wanted it to stay the way it was. However I wasn’t going to let my pride get in the way and the 7,000 words version is better for the anthology and as a story. I will always have the 11,000 word version to enjoy and I know Starbuck was right to cut so much as people will prefer to read the catchier, less rambling version. I talked about this in a previous blog and how that vital aspect of story telling is so important. However I threw it out the window for this short story as the Gothic novels have a wordy style which I tried to emulate. Yet I probably just rambled and what Starbuck did shows her skills as a story telling. As always I’m very thankful for her help and efforts to help me in my writing.

            So that’s the update about my shortest straw-ry and I’m assuming that most of the traffic to this update has come from http://www.kristell-ink.com/  where the story can be found, but if not head over there to find the anthology of short stories that I’m sure you will enjoy.

 As always there is a lot more going on and I’m working on various projects at the moment. The best thing to do is like my facebook page for my updates (link on the right side bar), although they can be very erratic. Also Kristell Ink will be publishing lots of good stories from talented authors so like their facebook page for updates http://www.facebook.com/KristellInk?fref=ts.

Lastly this update marks a half way point of something I’m working on and just writing this last bit as a point of reference even though it makes no sense to anyone but me. Thanks for reading and I really really hope you enjoy the Anthology.  

Time Is Relative But Becoming Irrelevant

It’s been a long time since I’ve updated this- in fact it may not be that long at all because I feel like I'm losing the concept I time. The update, as you can probably guess, is another learning one and not really an update of events. There will be things to announce at some point just not yet... I know... what a tease...

           This journey, over two and a half years now, has been brilliant and there has been so much more going on in my head, and in my life, than will ever be written about in this blog. Something I do want to record is that this whole process is teaching me to be a better person. That statement may be strange to some but to me it’s an attitude and way of living that is almost part of my DNA. There are some absolutes I believe in and one of these is that there are ways to be a good person and ways to be a bad one. I won’t get into a moral or philosophical debate but the good characteristic I want to write about today is having patience. There are obviously hundreds of things that can make someone good but patience is today’s topic and something I often think about. There are several types of patience: patience with circumstance, patience with people, patience in a crisis events and patience with ourselves (I’m sure there are more types but these are the obvious to me). I know I’ve talked about this before but in a way this is an update on the subject.

            The main point to start with is that I’m terrible at being patient (I’ve mentioned this before, probably several time). The type of patience I’m worst at is patience with my circumstance. Patience with people isn’t great but I think I’m doing okay with it. (I’m just thankful for the patience people show me despite my craziness). Patience with circumstance was never a problem at high school, as every fifty minutes the subject change. I had variation within school, a social life, work, and any spare time was either spent reading or exercising. It was a great life and in some ways I miss it. My life slowed down a bit at University but there was always something to keep me busy. Since leaving and having the health problems I cannot do as much as I want and because of this I’ve learned a lot about patience, being comfortable spending time by myself, and not worrying about how fast or slow things are moving in my life.

             How does this relate to the book? Well I don’t get frustrated any more with the fact this seems like a constant fight that is going no where. In January it will be three years since I started writing stories and to me it has felt like several life times. The difference is that it doesn’t bother me any more. Whether I get frustrated or not makes no difference and although it has been a source of motivation to work harder, it’s pointless.

Thanks to my journey with writing (and other parts of my life out of my control) I can now accept my circumstances better and just get on with the work and not feel happy or sad about it. It’s so much better this way as it stresses me out less. The great thing is that this pans over to all my life and I’m so much more relaxed about my life. Things will happen when they happen and I’ve got plenty of work to keep me busy. When the time is right to try and get exposure then I’ll do that again, but there is no rush to do that and I’m okay with it. On the surface it seems like I don’t care, but if you know me that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Having said all this I had a bombshell recently that makes me want to move things forward at a faster pace again. It was certainly a test of putting theory into practice. I want awesome adventures so bad, but they will happen when they happen. I’m doing everything I can to make my dreams come true, what more can I give? Not getting angry or frustrated by my limitations, or how long this has felt at times, is proof I’m learning. Time is relative but becoming irrelevant.

Lastly I want to say I’m thankful for my life, for my amazing family and friends, and for those who are helping me more than I feel like I deserve. I know there will be fun times ahead and everyone’s patience with me will pay off. It may make little sense now but I can promise you that.

Is it a Book or a Story?

A lot of my blog updates have been about what happens in regards to book related events I.E ‘I got another rejection from an agent’… or ‘I’m doing another edit’…

Yet I think the most important blog updates have been about the things I’ve learned while on this journey. Today’s update is about one of those learning experiences.

In the last few months I have learned how important the following statement is- ‘It is not necessarily what you say, but how you say it.’ This has happened for various reasons but most importantly I’ve been thinking about it because of the current changes that are taking place with the Book of Prophecy.

Since the last update things have been moving forward in a way that I had not expected. After working with the editor, and that not working out, I believed that the way forward was to take what I had learned and do my best to improve the Book of Prophecy. I thought this was going to be by myself and I was happy enough with that. My writer friend Starbuck had always said she would help me with another thorough edit but it was her friend that was the editor so I thought because that hadn’t worked out she would take a step back from helping me with my writing. Obviously I knew we would still be friends but I thought it was too much to ask for her help, especially as she has so much going on in her own life. However once again she has amazed me with her kindness, generosity and belief in my work.

After accepting her generous offer of help we went to work and she has been helping me with the Book of Prophecy. This is where, in the context of writing, I have seen how there’s a difference between what you say/write and how you say/write it. Thus I have discovered the difference between a book and a story… and wow does Starbuck know how to write a story. I’ll always remember a comment Starbuck made, which has almost become an on going joke. The comment was that I write like I’m writing a text book- this is true. I wish so badly that it wasn’t the case and I could write a story with all the skills she has. Yet I sometimes wonder if the way I write is linked to the way my brain works and processes things. If that’s the case I’m okay with the fact I write like a text book because the way my brain works ultimately is what created the plot so I shouldn’t complain. Now what I need to do is keep that way of processing things but learn how to add certain things to my text book to make it a story, which is happening, but for some reason it’s really difficult for me.  

In hindsight I see my biggest mistake in this whole adventure was to think it was enough to have the story written in a series of events, one after the other, and people would like it because of what it contained. I was so wrong and ignorant to think this. I couldn’t see what the story was missing, but I have been shown clearly that ‘how’ something is written is perhaps even more important than ‘what’ is written. This is a complete 180 turn around on my previous attitude and I’m grateful for the experiences that have opened my eyes. Having it as a book that contains a plot isn’t enough, it has to fun and immerse the reader in that world. It sounds obvious but I didn’t fully understand this fact.

I’m truly lucky to have Starbuck teaching me this. The difference she is making is incredible. It’s still the same story, and there really isn’t any plot change as such, but with adding little things here and there, and wording things differently, it’s turning into something that is remarkably better that what it was before. The way I look at it is the Book of Prophecy has been like a sponge cake and now Starbuck is helping with adding the icing, sprinkles and chocolate drops. In terms of time, energy, and contribution to the size of the cake, it really isn’t that much, but it’s actually what makes the cake taste awesome. I think that’s the best way to describe it.

As a closing comment I just want to say that every time I read the new chapters I get really excited because of how much better it is as a story. Yet there’s still a lot of work to do so the cake decorating continues…

A New Beginning

A new beginning has dawned!... but just like every day it follows a similar pattern... And yes that pattern is once again i'm doing a serious edit of the Book of Prophecy.
The question is WHY!!?? Like seriously... WHY!!??

The answer has it's roots in some events that have taken place over the last two weeks. These events are as follows.

-My friend and fellow writer Sammy knows someone who has some pretty awesome skills in the technical side of writing and story telling.

-Last wednesay I began working with him on the b.o.p because we believed it needed more work... Well a lot more work.

-Yesterday we stopped working together.

Here's the story in a bit more detail.

So work began last Wednesday and it was painful for many reasons. One being I was so desperate to make it work I spent hours upon hours staring at the screen editing. For those who don't know I can only do about two hours a day because of eye pain. When I do more it hurts a lot, and I did a lot more.

I pushed through the difficulties that were emerging and together we came up with what I believe is an epic first chapter (in a way I see it as a new beginning).

Over the weekend we started chapter two. However it was beginning to be clear the editor/ writer relationship was not an easy one. View points were not in harmony, and style of both learning an teacher were very different. There is no criticism in that statement- certain things were just different.

I went through chapter two and applied what I was taught and what was suggested, while keeping the book the way it needed to stay. I thought I had done a good job and that with a bit of his editing chapter two continued the new sharper style. Of course it was not perfect but much better. Long story short it wasn't what he was after and I realised that his suggestions for extensive world building were not exactly what I thought the purpose of us working together was. We both agreed working together was not going to work if we had different goals for my work. Therefore yesterday we stopped working together.

Im taking the last week as a really positive experience and as always I have learned so much.

The plan is to take what i've learned and make it sharper the way he showed me and it will be the best it can be, while still keeping the style I think is appropriate the integrity of the story. Again that is no criticism, I just have to stay true to the stories roots.

The next few months are going to involve a lot of work, but i'm used to that after 2 and a half years of writing, re-writing and editing.

When it's done I'm hoping I can get some peoples opinions on it because I think there will be a substantial difference. Whatever happens I will be very happy with it after this edit- aka rip it apart and put it back together without waffle and with a little more world building. Time to work hard... Again :D

The Beautiful and Painful Process of Progress

This is a quick update to say that there are exciting things happening.

On Wed the13th I began work with an incredible Editor and although ripping my work apart is painful, the process of putting it back together turning it into something beautiful (how this all came about will be made clear in the future). As for now there is a lot of work ahead, but words cannot express my gratitude for the help I am receiving from many source.

The Struggle Within

It is clear that my blog updates are becoming very  infrequent and I feel bad because I haven’t been as committed to it as I want to be. I would like to be able to say it is because I have been busy, or distracted still, but I cannot. The distraction mentioned in the last update was awesome, but it did not go as well as I thought it would, in fact it crashed and burned epically. All is good now though and there is nothing I regret from my choices, everything that has happened served to help me to grow the way I need to. I am just so enthralled by every experience life gives me because I feel like I learn more about myself, and life, every day as a result of these experiences (Sorry for the ambiguous statement but I try to keep this about writing and not about the dramas of my life but sometimes it just creeps in) .

That said the reason I have not updated the blog, or written anything in a while, is because I have lost a lot of the motivation for writing that I once had. The struggle to be the best I can, and be good enough for readers, is far greater than I ever imagined. I was so naïve at the start of this project to think that by just having a good story it would be enough. I have learned I was an idiot and so ignorant to the struggle that would occur, both within myself to keep going, and to accept that I am not going to just get success over night. 

This inexperienced perspective has nearly faded and I am glad it has because now I can focus a bit better on realistic goals and how to achieve them. I owe so much to so many for gradually helping me see this perspective and especially to my friend, and fellow writer, Sammy HK Smith (although she will always be known as Starbuck to me). I'm thankful to her for so many things but do not think that my thanks is given because she plays to my ego, or gives me false hope. It is because she sees the potential I know I have and because she can be amazingly honest, yet always objective, which is what I need. Another reason I’m grateful to her is because she is a much better at writing and therefore is teaching me so much, and again this is what I need. It feels like she is my master and I her Padawan J.

Ultimately I feel strongly that the reason I stopped writing this blog, and writing in general, was not really because I have not gained the success that I want, but because I feel like I have improved as much as I can with out having someone to take me by the hand and guide me in the specific ways I need to improve. That is why I am so grateful to Starbuck. Her willingness to help me and guide me is humbling, and is truly appreciated. The truth is she could be doing a thousand other things (seriously she has so much going on her life that I’m in awe daily of how she does it all). Obviously she is not a perfect writer, but she is far better than I am, yet she is still doing everything she can to improve and learn while helping others. This is one of the reasons writing is fantastic because those who do it will learn so much if they are willing to, just like in life. The key is that learning never stops if we understand that it never stops.

All of this said I now feel ready and able to take my writing to the next level and I know with Starbucks help this will happen, as long as I work hard. I’m also excited for a small project that she has asked me to write and I will update on this in the future, and on other writing projects, obviously.

The struggle for motivation, improvement etc, will still continue, but that’s the point, it has to be a struggle for us to improve, other wise we would stagnate and not reach our potential. At least that's what I believe and have seen in my own life and in the life of many of the people around me.